Dating An Introvert: A How-To

The future is now, the times they have a-changed, and humankind has been cleaved into two disparate groups: the introverts and the extroverts. However, rather than waging a spectacular Mad Max-style war on one another, in the modern age, the exuberant and the introspective live in, for the most part, harmony. As such, there are many relationships where an extroverted sort may find themselves shacked up with their inverse. For those folks who are naturally more outgoing, dating an introvert may seem daunting – but it needn’t be! Through their innate empathy, understanding and compassion, introverts often make the most wonderful partners.

The main thing to understand about dating an introvert is that being introverted doesn’t necessarily mean disliking social contact. An introvert can be every bit as socially inclined as the next person, however, while more outgoing types prefer their socialising loud and frantic, introverts value deeper and more intense interactions, ideally on a one to one basis. Without further ado:

Things to Know About Dating an Introvert: An Easily Digestible List

Ditch your preconceptions

In many conversations across the screaming food-fight that is social media in 2018, introversion has negative connotations – that introverts are awkward, dislike social contact, and love nothing more than a long weekend barricaded inside their homes. This isn’t the case. What’s far more accurate is to say that introversion is a discomfort with vapid encounters and a desire for more meaningful connections with a smaller group of people.

Dive deeper

Let’s be honest with each other for a moment: nobody in the world, not Alan Carr, not Jonathon Ross, not Oprah herself, actually enjoys small talk. Of course, most people accept it as necessary conversational foreplay; you are introduced to someone new, you exchange pleasantries and chuckle politely about the existence of weather, and then, several glasses of wine later, you feel comfortable enough to blurt out how terrified of death you both are. However, introverts may feel that casual conversation is fake and insincere, preferring instead to leap right into the deep end.

Look forward to loyalty

Beneath their reserved exterior, introverts have just as much love and passion as everybody else. Once you can connect with them, your introverted partner will be loving and supportive thanks to their knack for empathy and understanding of social dynamics, which is gained from a large amount of time spent self-analysing and reflecting.

Make plans

You may think it is a romantic gesture to burst in through the front door brandishing two plane tickets to Paris with a departure date of three hours time, however to your introverted partner this will be likely be extremely uncomfortable. When you’re dating an introvert, it’s important to bear in mind that introverts prefer to know in advance what they’re going to be getting up to. Surprises and spontaneity are great ingredients for a relationship, but when you’re dating an introvert, it’s best to season the affair with a sprinkling of understanding and common sense.

Allow for distance

When dating an introverted man or woman, it’s possible that you may find your calls or texts go unanswered for some time. Similarly, it may become apparent that your partner often prefers more than a little time in their own company. Don’t take this personally – you can rest assured that your partner loves you a huge amount, however on occasion they simply need to recharge their batteries in private. For some introverts, social interaction can be extremely tiring, and time alone after gives them space for reflection and re-energising.

Strike a balance

With an introvert dating an extrovert, it’s important for both partners to understand and empathise with their other half. If one person is keen for a night on the tiles and the other would much rather spend their evening cuddled up on the sofa, compassionate compromise is key. If you love one another and want each other to be happy, you can allow each other your freedom to do your own thing. Being introverted doesn’t mean being unreasonable – if your partner wants to stay home but you want to paint the town red, that’s what you both should do! Finding this kind of balance can keep both partners happy in the relationship.

Bask in adoration

Prepare to be loved – properly loved. Perhaps it would be prudent to suggest that, as far as affection is concerned, extroverts are dogs – they are giddy, their warmth is freely given, yet it is often difficult to tell if their actions are sincere. Introverts, in this instance, are more like cats – their affection must be earned and a close bond must be established, but once you have formed a close connection, you’ll feel safe, loved, and supported.

And now for the key question:

This all sounds amazing. Prithee, where can I meet and date an introvert?

It’s a happy coincidence you asked, because at EliteSingles we provide the ideal platform to help you meet and date introverts. While we are not solely an introvert dating site, what we are is a dating site for mature, professional singles seeking true romance, and we provide matches for our members based on – wait for it, your dreams are about to come true, introvert-seeker – an extensive personality questionnaire based on the Five Factor model of personality. This allows us to send you accurate personality matches every single day, which means dating an introvert has never been so easy. Sign up today!

About the author: Dan Hackett

Dan is an editor for EliteSingles.

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