Older Women Dating Younger Men: The Ultimate Guide

Age is just a number right? A few years here and there aren’t going to be the decider between dating someone or not, right?

Unfortunately, when it comes to dating you’d be surprised how small some people’s age ranges are. If you’re an experienced online dater, you’ll know that people don’t tend to be adventurous when it comes to dating someone who is 10 or 15 years older. There are cliches, of course, when it comes to age gaps in relationships. Dating an older man has long been a fantasy of some younger women. There are even numerous movies, TV shows and books dedicated to it. So, why is nobody paying attention to the much more compatible pairing of older women dating younger men? The most common example of older women dating younger men in popular culture is this idea of ‘the cougar’ and their ‘cub’.

Ever since the 1967 film The Graduate, this partnership has had its allure, but it’s rooted in the cliches and tropes that haunt most unique modern pairings. There are plenty of real-world examples of older women dating younger men and most of those examples lead to long-term relationships, commitment and marriage.

Real-world examples of women dating older men:

Hugh Jackman (49) and his partner Deborra Lee-Furness (62) have been together for over 20 years.
Actor Aaron Johnson (27) has been with Director Sam Taylor-Wood (50) since he was 18.
President Emmanuel Macron (39) and Brigitte Macron (64) had a controversial start when they met when he was 16.

The very word ‘cougar’ is most certainly moot. Without getting too entangled in semantics, EliteSingles resident psychologist, Salama Marine, is quick to discuss this point. “Prejudices have a tendency to stick, even if society is changing,” she says, “calling an older woman a cougar isn’t meaningless, it’s a way of defining her as a predator who’s only interested in hunting down younger prey.” Despite some of this negativity, the reality of older women dating younger men is actually long-term stability according to recent studies.

Why does older women dating younger men work so well?

Older women dating younger men is one of the few partnerships that has been fetishised in popular culture that actually all-but-guarantees long-term success. In their 2006 study, the University of Maine interviewed eight married couples where the wife was between 10 and 17 years older than the husband. Their findings revealed that both partners were content and happy with their relationship.

Older women dating younger men is also far more common than previously thought, in a recent study by McGill University it was found that approximately 13 per cent of sexually active women between 35 and 44 have slept with a man at least 5 years their junior.

Not only did they discover that middle-aged women who’d been previously married were more likely to seek a younger mate, they also showed that older woman/younger man relationships are rarely brief flings. On average, when an older woman and younger man start dating, the relationships last two years. So, if women from all walks of life are ignoring the stigma and are happy romancing younger men, it begs the question; what’s the appeal?

What’s it like dating a younger man?

The cliché of older women dating younger men is almost poetic. We can see our older woman seductively drinking a cosmopolitan, swaddled in expensive furs, a wry smile playing on her lips. The younger man is handsome in a boyish way, nervous but eager and easy to impress. Like most stereotypes, they were once born out of truth.

The truth is that younger man dating older women are usually doing so because of the perceived confidence that comes with being older. So, they’re not intimidated by a woman’s power, in fact, they’re willing to more submissive and thoughtful within this power dynamic. Younger men are often complimented for their passion, their naivety and willingness to learn. In a recent Today article, younger men in relationships with older women confessed what attracted them in the first place. Almost all the testimonials talk about the self-possession of older women, their intellect and, unlike older men, they are still adventurous when it comes to trying new things.

To sum up:

Younger men enjoy being with a partner who is self-assured and excited to try new things.
They’re eager to prove themselves and will often be happy being taken by the hand on new adventures.
Younger men don’t have the bitterness that comes with age and can be a problem with older men.
No baggage.

What’s it like dating an older woman?

When a younger man dates a mature woman, they’ll have to get adjusted to how older women are more dominant in these dynamics. However, if you’re a younger man looking to date older women specifically, it’s likely that’s part of your attraction.

Older women have life experience, that might mean ex-partners, children and a full workload. This is something most ambitious, modern women can juggle with an active social life – including dating. Mature women over 40 will also be a lot more upfront about what they do and don’t want from a budding relationship – no ghosting or game playing will be tolerated. Cutting out the typical trials and tribulations of modern dating usually leaves a lot more time to just have fun!